Cwmderi Diary 2015: 7 September 2015

DJ is acting as nurse in Cadno's absence

Bobi is not well, and when Cadno returns from her solicitor’s, DJ reports that he has not thrown up since she left. She has had it confirmed that she is likely to be jailed for anything from six months to three years;

Cadno has a long sentence hanging over her

“And they will probably add on the suspended six months! I’m officially being charged at ten on Thursday.”

"You still haven't opened this!"

Mark delivers some bills to Colin, and notices his message from Meic, still unopened. Colin again describes a letter from beyond the grave as “a bit spooky!”

Colin's cartoon from Meic

Mark takes matters into his own hands and opens the envelope, finding a cartoon inside.

Colin is very relieved

“Meic wants you to give your heart to someone – he wants you to find a woman – he wants you to be happy, you stupid idiot!” Mark tells him.

Breakfast in bed for Gemma

Ed has prepared breakfast for Gemma; “It’s a treat, now you’re back, toast, eggs, yoghurt.”

Ed is told he is suffocating her again

Gemma replies that he is doing it again – suffocating her, and she has to be left alone at some point.

"The eggs in hospital were too hard"

However, she admits, “It would be a shame to waste the food, and eggs in hospital were always too hard!”

"You must take a step back"

When she has taken the tray back to bed with her, Sioned warns Ed that he needs to take a step back.

Ed replies, “I’d worry less if she had some friends, then she would have some company.”

"I'd love to have a girlfriend"

In the café, Colin tells Mark he would love to have a girlfriend, but it is easier said than done. “There is someone out there for everyone,” Mark assures him, but Colin is convinced that his “someone” has taken a wrong turning and got lost.

"Go for a local woman"

He has no had much success with Online Dating, and Mark advises him to ask a local woman; despite Colin’s protests that they are not interested in him, Mark emphasises, “You’ve got a job, you’re smart and handsome-ish! Come on, Col – go for it!”

"Nobody's interested in the café!"

Ed comes in and Debbie complains that she has heard from Tomos ac Ellis that no-one has shown any interest in the café. Ed does nothing to encourage her when he says the process could take months, or even years.

"I'll go mad!"

“I can’t stay in Cwmderi – I’ll go mad!” she says, and then rushes upstairs.

"Trons Dy Dad" means "My Father's Underpants"!

Kelly is trying to do a Welsh crossword in the Deri; “Don’t they have any English magazines?” she asks Sioned, who replies that Siôn White owns the place. “Which Welsh band sings ‘Trons Dy Dad’?” asks Kelly, and

"Gemma would probably know that"

Sioned suggests that Gemma would probably know, as she is great on Welsh music.

Sioned works on Kelly . . .

Kelly is reluctant to ask her, but Sioned goes on about Gemma needing a friend, and now is the chance to get to know her.

. . . so she turns and says, "Oi!"

Kelly eventually capitulates and rather unconventionally starts the conversation with, “Oi! I hear you’re an expert on Welsh music! Fancy doing this crossword with me, or what?”

A self-satisfied smirk

Sioned smiles.

Cadno is in a state

Cadno is sitting at the kitchen table, crying, when DJ comes in;

"Bobi will be five when I come out!"

“Bobi will be five when I come out, and Arthur nearly three. The best I can hope for is a year - the boys won’t know where I am, and children need their mother!

"What will happen to Penrhewl?"

“What happens to Penrhewl while I’ve gone? I’ve worked so hard to get this place on its feet – and it will all come to nothing!”

DJ knows what he must do

DJ sits and ponders.

"I'm going to London at the end of the week!"

When Ricky arrives at the café flat, Debbie tells him, “Things have changed – I’m going to London at the end of the week!” Ricky is amazed the café has sold so quickly, but she enlightens him;

"It could take months"

“It could take months, so I’m leaving Gwen and Ed in charge and renting the flat, so I can go to Vicky sooner.” Ricky agrees, if that is what she wants.

"Ooh! CNAPAN!"

Kelly is impressed by Gemma’s suggestion for the crossword, CNAPAN (ball, bowl, type of ball game)

"You're not just a pretty face!" (in English)

“Yes, it fits! You know your stuff, you’re not just a pretty face – there is something between those ears!” Gemma takes exception to this remark, and Kelly retorts, “There’s no need to take offence, like! I didn’t mean anything!”

"It's nice to be treated normally"

Gemma admits that is nice to be treated normally for a change, and that she has not done a crossword for ages. Kelly tells her that she worked late last night, so she is having a long lunch, whether her boss likes it or not.

Sioned, who has been carefully watching this exchange, reports to Ed, “Gemma has a new friend, thanks to me.”

"You can't get rid of that – Meic gave it to you"

Sorting out his belongings, Ricky intends to dispose of his fishing rod; Debbie protests that Meic gave it to him, but he answers,

"I've got used to people going"

“Meic’s dead! I’ve got used to people going, first Meic, now you, and dad will probably leave me too. I shall have to stand on my own two feet sometime, as I won’t have anyone left.”

Colin's aftershave is overpowering

Tucking into their chips in the chippy, Mark comments that Colin’s aftershave is rather pungent, overpowering the chips.

"Someone smells lush!"

Kelly comes in and jokes, “Someone smells lush!” She remarks to Gwyneth, “Nothing beats a man who smells gorgeous!”

"Fancy coming out for a drink?"

Colin thinks that now is his chance, and asks Kelly if she would like to go out for a drink some time.

"You're old enough to be my father!"

She replies incredulously, “You what? You’re old enough to be my father!”

When he turns to Gwyneth, she reminds him, “Not after the last time!” and he beats a hasty retreat from the chippy, followed by Mark.

"Think of one person who has shown any interest"

They finish their meal at number 7, where Colin demands, “Think of one person in the last year who has shown an ounce of interest.”

"There was Tessa – but don't go there again!"

Mark thinks of one, Tessa, but advises against Colin going there again, reminding him of the posh restaurant, The Red Dragon, where he was expected to buy a meal for Tessa’s friend Rowena.

"I'll send her a text"

Nevertheless, Colin thinks he may have been hasty, and ought to give Tessa a second chance; “I don’t want to be on my own for ever, and they’re not queueing round the block! I should text her to see if she is interested – she’ll probably tell me where to go, but there is only one way to find out!”

DJ says that Cadno is innocent . . .

DJ at the police station is interviewed by PC Lesley Thomas. “Catherine Richards told the truth when she said she did not own the gun,” says DJ,

. . . and admits it was his gun . . .

“She knew nothing about it – it’s mine. I intended to get a licence, but I’ve been too busy. I bought it without thinking from a bloke in a Swansea pub, I think he was called Mick something.”

. . . but Lesley is sceptical

PC Thomas does not find his account convincing, but he insists that he is telling the truth.

Ricky and his do-it-yourself lunch

Ricky is in the café kitchen, assembling a chip butty, when Debbie tells him it is not that she is not leaving him, but leaving Cwmderi. “It makes sense to start with a clean slate somewhere else. I thought you wanted to stay here with your father and your mates, but I’d love it if you came to live with me and Vicky. We used to have such a laugh in the flat in Spain – it would be a new adventure.”

He is not enamoured with the prospect of London

Ricky appears definitely not enthusiastic.

"She said yes . . . eventually!"

Colin calls to Mark from the door of number 7; “She said no to start with, but then changed her mind!”

Colin announces his date to Kelly and Gwyneth

Seeing Kelly and Gwyneth opposite, he announces in a loud voice, “Tessa and I have got a date – tomorrow!”

"I'll cook her a meal at home"

Mark asks how much it will cost him, but Colin is proposing to cook her a meal at home. “It is bound to be better than the last date,” he insists, but Mark points out it could hardly be worse.

Madge's First Cymru bus must be running late

As Madge waits impatiently at the bus stop, Cadno, who has visited the pharmacy, sees DJ;

"I can handle jail"

he tells her that he has been to the police and confessed to owning the gun. “I can handle jail – I havent got any previous. If I get six months, I shall be out in three. I can’t stand seeing you so sad! I’m doing this because I want to – for you and the boys.”